Its been about a year and two months. I look back on what I have posted, most of the things I have posted here, and I have to say I feel I have done pretty good for someone who knows crap about blogging and writing. For someone who wants to write a fiction novel and hopes to be published, I have a long way to go; and for someone with a lot to say on my mind I have said absolutely nothing of what truly counts. At least not to my understanding, not of how I see things at this moment. Some things I have written are good, others can be forgotten. But what really surprised me as interesting was the lack of impurities.
Isn’t this blog, a blog of obsessions and impurities? A blog where I come clean, and confess all my wrong doings (well not exactly, I would be shameless) and obsess about the things I wish I could possess/do/create… just BE? Yes! This is such a blog, and this is the longest time I have been away from it. At the risk of making this, yet, another post about NOT POSTING… oops, I already have! I will share how obsession entered my mind:
"Perception" (This is an image I captured from a drawing,"Perception", I did back in Highschool. For those who have been following my art, you should be able to notice the roughness in the skills 😛 )
It was in the form of a gift, or should I say a friend’s good will. Because, the meaning of liking is not the same as being obsess with something.
Perception rather twists things, and ultimately confuses you… it is a dangerous weapon if a person is weak-minded. For example: A person may like a certain music band, and be happy listening to their songs for more than a day; a friend may perceive that, as this person being obsess with this particular band. However, it’s their perspective, not what it’s really happening. What follows: this friend will potentially give this person, gifts of this particular music band since he/she believes it is what this person “obsesses” about. And this is how and obsession begins. Nothing wrong with it, nothing to rant about, nothing to be angry about… and I am not! It got me thinking: perhaps half of my obsessions are not even real. I have been posting about my obsessions for more than a year, and there is a big chance they aren’t really mine to begin with! WOW. I hope it’s not entirely so… I think it’s not. I still love Cowboy Bebop, and I’m very sensitive of it; I believe this one at least is real. 😉
For the rest of the year, or until I get tired again -which seems to be what happened- I would like to write about my impurities, and give way to the wicked me by sharing the things inside my head, perhaps by doing so, I will become a little more human each time. An exercise I have been practicing lately with great results… it goes something like this: “find peace within, by casting away your demons.” Hmm, why do I get the feeling that I have gotten it all wrong? Hahaha…
Sine Cera 