The Wicked Me

Its been about a year and two months. I look back on what I have posted, most of the things I have posted here, and I have to say I feel I have done pretty good for someone who knows crap about blogging and writing. For someone who wants to write a fiction novel and hopes to be published, I have a long way to go; and for someone with a lot to say on my mind I have said absolutely nothing of what truly counts. At least not to my understanding, not of how I see things at this moment. Some things I have written are good, others can be forgotten. But what really surprised me as interesting was the lack of impurities.

Isn’t this blog, a blog of obsessions and impurities? A blog where I come clean, and confess all my wrong doings (well not exactly, I would be shameless) and obsess about the things I wish I could possess/do/create… just BE? Yes! This is such a blog, and this is the longest time I have been away from it. At the risk of making this, yet, another post about NOT POSTING… oops, I already have! I will share how obsession entered my mind:


"Perception" (This is an image I captured from a drawing,"Perception", I did back in Highschool. For those who have been following my art, you should be able to notice the roughness in the skills 😛 )

It was in the form of a gift, or should I say a friend’s good will. Because, the meaning of liking is not the same as being obsess with something.

Perception rather twists things, and ultimately confuses you… it is a dangerous weapon if a person is weak-minded. For example: A person may like a certain music band, and be happy listening to their songs for more than a day; a friend may perceive that, as this person being obsess with this particular band. However, it’s their perspective, not what it’s really happening. What follows: this friend will potentially give this person, gifts of this particular music band since he/she believes it is what this person “obsesses” about. And this is how and obsession begins. Nothing wrong with it, nothing to rant about, nothing to be angry about… and I am not! It got me thinking: perhaps half of my obsessions are not even real. I have been posting about my obsessions for more than a year, and there is a big chance they aren’t really mine to begin with! WOW. I hope it’s not entirely so… I think it’s not. I still love Cowboy Bebop, and I’m very sensitive of it; I believe this one at least is real. 😉

For the rest of the year, or until I get tired again -which seems to be what happened- I would like to write about my impurities, and give way to the wicked me by sharing the things inside my head, perhaps by doing so, I will become a little more human each time. An exercise I have been practicing lately with great results… it goes something like this: “find peace within, by casting away your demons.” Hmm, why do I get the feeling that I have gotten it all wrong? Hahaha…


9 thoughts on “The Wicked Me

  1. Which ultimately, don’t you think, makes the “obsession” a gift for gift giver? The gift of having something they can look forward to gifting to you? 🙂

    • Hahahaha, you are too much Roxanne. Once I saw you had left a comment I started laughing 😀
      Yes! it is a gift in some cases. And it adds to the already there obsession, and so the person obsesses about it even more. Like an idea when it has been implanted in your head. Like Inception! hahaha. Well not as far as that, but yeah… 😉
      Thank you for the comment.

  2. Very interesting post, and I agree with you. It’s incredible how fragile reality really is, based on perception and perspective alone; and fanaticism is such an intriguing thing by virtue of its depth. A similar example to yours is how my friends think that I’m obsessed with FC Barcelona and they have made some jabs on numerous occasions and have even gotten me memorabilia as gifts—and it’s true that I love the team, but I know a man who got a massive tattoo of the team crest and almost got one the faces of the entire lineup. Of course, they don’t know this person so I’M the obsessed one 🙂

    You’ve definitely got me thinking now 🙂 I guess I should start brainstorming things I’m truly obsessed with so I can contribute.

    • Oh yes! Please do, would love to read about your “obsessions” haha.
      What you say its exactly how I feel. Every time I meet someone new, and they see I have more than a few things from Japan around my house, then of course, I talk about Asian culture because I like it. They start getting comfortable with me enough to tell me “you are obsess with Asians” They even dare say I picked my boyfriend (who at first impression might look like he has some Asian in him, because of his eyes… but nah! He is Italian/Irish) because I saw the Asian in him… whatever!!!! Truth is I liked my boyfriend because he looked like a vampire to me, hahahaha.
      Man! I don’t give what I don’t have to take a plane and go to Asia on a whim. I don’t cook Asian food, and I certainly don’t prepare bentos at home. I don’t ware my hair straight all the time with bands, and I most certainly (and not to offend Asians, I love them) don’t act extremely cute when taking pictures. I do the peace sign that’s as far as I go. But yeah, I’m obsess!!! 😉
      Thanks for the comment my friend!

  3. Obsession is a very strong word. I would not consider someone who likes a band, obsessed. However, if this person ONLY listens to this band, has posters of them on his/her wall. Travels around the country to see them when band is on tour, then, that to me is Obsessed.

    Having a passion for something, is not quite the same as obsession, so perhaps, that’s the difference between some of the things you like..

    • Right, I completely agree. I think we all agree here, that obsession is used lightly. I used the band as an example. Which might apply to Luna Sea in my case. I -myself- have used the word obsess to say how much I have liked their songs. However listening to the song nonstop for more than a week, every day on my way to work and back could be described as being sort of obsess with that particular song right?? hahaha.
      My friend, I couldn’t be obsess if I wanted to because I don’t have the money or the energy to travel around after somebody. I think to be obsess with someone (music band, actor) you would have to first feel some sort of fanaticism, and I remember we spoke once about how we don’t go that far. I think the artist in us is too proud to let us be that way… or perhaps it has to do with being earth signs (kinda silly) we are too practical. 🙂
      Thanks for your comment.

  4. If I do become obsessed over some person, place or thing, I know that with time, it will calm down. When I worry about being obsessed, it just lasts longer. Eventually it moves to the passion stage and finally, love.

    Perhaps younger people haven’t found they can trust themselves to chill! You will. Obsession usually burns too hot to last a long time.

    • Hello Amy 🙂
      Yes, it happens with me as well. I wrote about it last year, how obsession (at least mine) tends to calm down with time, it never lasts for very long. I think the longest I have been “extremely passionate” about something was with Cowboy Bebop, and still; I bring it out in many of my conversations about music, animation, art… even at the mentioned of the word “cowboy” I’m reminded of this cartoon, and if I can talk about it… SIGH! However, now its more like a love. I think this cartoon has taught me a lot of things, and I treasure it.
      Obsessions aren’t always a bad thing. 😉
      Thank you for your comment!

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