Heartache

It has been almost two weeks since my last post, yet it feels like it has been longer. At first it was a matter of being too complicated with finals at school, and all the craziness that is so common around this time of the year. My list is short, but still, I have to take part on the shopping spread and… I just hate it! Nevertheless, school ended three days ago and I didn’t go shopping during my days off. What kept me so busy I couldn’t do my routine posts?

My last post for November was about the animated film Grave Of The Fireflies. As I said in the post it’s an extremely overwhelming film, and writing about it is enough to make you feel sad. But I’m not that weak to get sad for two weeks just because I posted about Grave Of The Fireflies, no. Reminiscing of the movie after posting, however, contributed to the problem. Its like my heart remembered that feeling of loneliness and sadness I felt after watching the movie, and –although unconsciously- wanted to feel it again even when my conscious self refuses to give into it.

For this month I have many cool posts in mind, and so I was eager for November to finish so I could start writing about what I like the most; all my most favorite! Yep I have endless lists of things that have been number one for me this year, and others not so successful projects that ended sooner than expected. I kept telling myself; As soon as I finish my projects for the last presentation in my art class I will post the post of the month for November, and continue with the new projects. However, as soon as I had free time, instead of writing about the post of the month -which by the way was Bebopperal Inspiration- my heart guided me trough the web in search of something dramatic enough to feed my hunger for sadness. Of course this happened without me really knowing what I was after, I mean, I thought I was just being my usual lazy self. I wanted to unwind for a couple of days watching a drama. Good excuse, but to be honest I really don’t need one to watch a drama, hehe.

I found a Japanese drama with Takeshi in it, something weird since he has not made many dramas and its been a long time since those. The drama is Precious Time (Kamisama mō Sukoshi dake) and sure enough, it was made in 1998. I finished it in a day! The drama is a… well, a drama in all terms. It’s a sad story of love between the main lead (Kyoko Fukada) and Takeshi Kaneshiro. Without giving much details; from the beginning of the drama the viewer knows what will happen to the girl, that she will die, because this is part of the main plot, so its not a secret or surprise. The plot did not sadden me, although it was touching. Still, I could not help feeling anguished every time I would finish one episode. I wanted to know what it was exactly, what made me feel so lonely if I knew how the story would end pretty much. Well, I now know what made my heartache. It was a mix of many things triggered by the theme song of the drama “I For You” by Luna Sea.

(J, Shinja, Ryuichi, Inoran, Sugizo)

Luna Sea is one of the most respected rock bands in Japan. They formed in 1989, and became one of the most influential bands in the visual kei movement (Gothic style). In 2000, the band broke up, and only reunited in 2007-2008 for an anniversary tour. I thought they were still disbanded, however I recently learned –like two minutes ago- that they got back together in 2010 and had a world tour. OH-MY-GOD! They were here in L.A. and I lost my chance of going to my very first concert? I’m not the type to get fanatic; I like actors but I don’t care for their autograph; I like music but I don’t care for concerts. I always said how I would never pay $400 for a Madonna concert even though I like her songs (most of the old ones anyway) Aren’t they rich enough? They could pay all the staff if they wanted to without getting a dime. Well, this time is different; I’m literally in love with “I For You”, and I would have done anything I could to go to the concert of Luna Sea just to listen to “I For You” live!

I hate how I’m always a little too late on everything, just like in the drama with Takeshi, I feel my love for this song has come years too late and now I’m doomed since I have no idea when the band will come to the U.S. again.

What this song makes me feel when I listen to it, has nothing to do with the sad story of the drama. While watching the drama, yes, it was all connected and it had a great effect, hence I bought the song from ITunes as soon as I finished the drama. When I listened to it alone, without the drama, I fell in love with it. I don’t know why, there is no big explanation for it, but then again, people say love has no explanation right? If I had to say what captivates me about it aside from the lyrics and melody, well… have you seen the video already? Ryuichi Kawamura is the best performer I have seen on stage. The way he sings this song is something that deserves to be seen, and felt; its like he transmits his pain to you through words. I read somewhere he wrote the song based on his own experience. I don’t know if it is true, but the song certainly has a feeling of reality.

“I For You.” (Live)

He is a little dramatic but, it makes my heart race. 🙂

Lyrics (Romaji)

Nee, hontou wa dare mo
Nee, aisenai to iiwarete
Kowagari no kimi to deai
Yatto sono imi ni kizuita

Kizutsuku tame, ima futari
Deatta nara, kanashi sugiru yo

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kitto tada hontou no kimi no sugata wo, motomete

Mada, bukiyou ni warau ne
Mada, kanashimi ga niau kara

Kimi to deau, tame dake ni sou
Umareta nara, kaerareru kana

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kizutsuki sugita kedo mada aida ni yo
Kokoro kara kimi wo aishiteru
Kimi ni furu itami wo futte agetai subete
I for You

Kokoro kara kimi ni tsutaetai
Kimi no egao itsumo mitsumerareta o
Kokoro kara kimi wo aishiteru
Kimi ni furu hikari wo atsumete agetai subete
I for You

Lyrics (English)

Hey, the truth is someone said,
Hey, I can’t love anyone.
I finally realized the significance of meeting you,
who is so nervous.

If we met one another in order to get hurt,
then this is just too sad.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to tell you…
I’m just looking for your true form.

You still smile awkwardly,
sadness still suits you.

If I was born in order to meet you,
then I wonder if I can change?

From the bottom of my heart, I want to tell you…
I’m hurt a little bit too much, but I’ll still be on time.
From the bottom of my heart, I love you.
I want to wipe all of the pain away that falls on you, I for you.

From the bottom of my heart, I want to tell you…
If only I can always look upon your smile.
From the bottom of my heart, I love you.
I want to gather up all of the light that falls on you, I for you.

LUNA SEA PLEASE COME BACK TO THE U.S. I’LL PAY ANYTHING!!! —> you must know, I have no money, but still 😀

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17 thoughts on “Heartache

  1. Aw, I know how you feel about missing out seeing them. I missed Bauhaus every single time they reunited, for one reason or another, I never got the chance to see them and now they have broken up for good.

    Nice song, nice looking boy with a great voice. Fantastic guitar solo and the guitar player boy looks rather fetching as well 🙂

  2. Loved them both, though I preferred Loveless and I’m still watching videos and I have definitely taken a liking to Sugizo 🙂 (something about boys who play guitar and wear cool rock clothes)

    • I also liked “Tonight” and “Rosier” Sugizo is really cool yeah. He has a daughter and was once married but its said that he was in love with Hide from X-Japan if I’m not mistaken. Sugizo completely falls under the vampy category >:[ hehe.

  3. Awesome song. That guy has a fantastic voice. I heard of Luna Sea through abingdon boys school (the sweetest coma cover). Haven’t heard that much from them but they sound awesome.

      • I guess your not Yaime. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Thanks for the comment! I understand not everyone will like this type of music or the band for that matter. I’m just glad you got to listen to it, and make your opinion from there. Thanks again! 🙂

  4. Pingback: What Awaits… | Sine Cera

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