Requiem For a Dream

For the film of the month post, I usually write about a movie that I love and are very familiar with since I am not a film critic and don’t really wish to be one. However, this time I must write about this movie that has impressed me. I want to make an exception, and share my feelings for this movie that without even knowing the full context of it I am so overwhelmed with it I can’t really not say anything. I have to share it, I must. This movie is Requiem For a Dream.

Now, before I get into all the drama, I wish to share a little info on Jared Leto (the main lead of the movie) because I think that he himself has made an impression on me.

The first time I saw Jared Leto was in My So-Called Life. He was the sexy rebel, intense, sort of “forgotten by life” boy Angela Chase fell in love with. I fell in love with him too. But after the show I did not really follow him as an actor or anything else. I have read here and there he has recorded albums, and I have seen him in other movies, but nothing that really caught my attention. I always thought of him as Jordan Catalano (the character he played in My So-Called Life) and never really saw him as what he truly is, and artist.

I first realized I had the wrong impression of him when I saw pictures of the cast in a reunion for the show years later. In the picture, he was with Clare Danes (Angela) and his look -I mean the way he was dress- was totaly mind blowing since I did not expect him to be gothic like. I really have nothing against gothics, punks, whatever they are called, but I was not expecting that of Jordan, I truly was not, and so it was sort of a shock. Now that I have done searches on him and I have seen his image, I have to say I don’t dislike it one bit. I’m not a complete fan of his music, although I do enjoy listening to “Kings and Queens” the lead single from his album This Is War, released in 2009. Listening to some of his music, and reading articles about him, also watching interviews he has done, I have to admire his passion and dedication to his work. I have realized that he is not just Jordan, and I should not relate him to My So-Called Life only, but to many other things he has done that deserve recognition. One of them was the character he played in Requiem For a Dream, Harry Goldfarb.

I can’t really say if his acting was excellent or not, but I can only say that after watching a clip from the movie I have become intrigued by Harry and his life. If an actor can make you experience that, then it surely deserves your attention. Too bad I will not watch the film, I choose not to because I don’t want to spend a week or more feeling depress and attached to somebody else horrible life experiences. I’m pretty sure if Jared ever read this (something improbable)  he would feel content, since he said in an interview how he wished the film made everybody sick. Yes Jared, even clips from the movie made me sick. If I was strong enough to go trough this, I would watch this film; and I would be completely taken by each of its character; and I would be sad, very sad, for weeks. And then, I would probably not talk about it, or maybe I would. Since that is not going to happen, I choose to talk about it now, and share this bit of craziness.

There are many ideas I have about this movie, things that came to my head while watching interviews with the director, Darren Aronofsky and Jared, and also watching the end scene of the movie (if you read “Summer Reading, and my Poor Habit”, you will know this is a normal thing for me).  One of them, and perhaps the most interesting for me since I have not seen the film yet, is how at the end everybody comes to realize the truth about who they are and their lives while laying on a bed in the fetal position; I thought this is particularly significant to the idea of how something returns to its normal state, realization of your truth… etc. It made me want to watch the film, although I wont.

Requiem For a Dream;

Ending scene;



Today is Monday, yet it feels like a Friday. Work was light (lighter than usual) and I don’t feel stress coming back home, there is no rush to do anything since I don’t have to wake up early on Tuesdays anymore. Oh! Wait, math class is OVER! Yep, I am free again.

Matchbox Twenty was one of my favorite bands in the 90’s. Now I look back to those times, when I was in my teens and thought life would not get better than that, how wrong I was. But, never mind that, the point is I feel so accomplished today, I have to jump and twirl and scream. Coming home from work, they played one of my favorite songs from Matchbox Twenty, one of those songs you love but don’t remember the name -shame, I know. But the Rob bug has already infested my body and heart tonight, so I must share any song by them.

Looking for a little information on the song I chose to share and the band, I found out something I never knew (and I liked the band back then… shame on me!) The band formed here in Orlando, Florida in 1995. This is an awesome bit of info for me, since I reside in Florida as well. Not that it would have change anything! Just being my dorky self.

I choose one that I loved and listened to almost everyday back in the 90’s; “3AM”. Although my favorite of the band is “Smooth”, but “3AM” brings back memories long forgotten.


She say it’s cold outside and she hands me my raincoat
She’s always worried about things like that
She says it’s all gonna end and it might as well be my fault
And she only sleeps when it’s raining
And she screams and her voice is straining


She says baby
It’s 3 am I must be lonely
When she says baby
Well I can’t help but be scared of it all sometimes
Says the rain’s gonna wash away I believe it

She’s got a little bit of something, God it’s better than nothing
And in her color portrait world she believes that she’s got it all
She swears the moon don’t hang quite as high as it used to
And she only sleeps when it’s raining
And she screams and her voice is straining


She believes that life is made up of all that you’re used to
And the clock on the wall has been stuck at three for days, and days
She thinks that happiness is a mat that sits on her doorway
But outside it’s stopped raining


Metrosexuality, The Modern Masculinity

“The typical metrosexual is a young man with money to spend, living in or within easy reach of a metropolis – because that’s where all the best shops, clubs, gyms and hairdressers are. He might be officially gay, straight or bisexual, but this is utterly immaterial because he has clearly taken himself as his own love object and pleasure as his sexual preference. Particular professions, such as modeling, waiting tables, media, pop music and, nowadays, sport, seem to attract them but, truth be told, like male vanity products and herpes, they’re pretty much everywhere.

For some time now, old-fashioned re-productive, repressed, unmoisturized heterosexuality has been given the pink slip by consumer capitalism. The stoic, self-denying, modest straight male didn’t shop enough (his role was to earn money for his wife to spend), and so he had to be replaced by a new kind of man, one less certain of his identity and much more interested in his image – that’s to say, one who was much more interested in being looked at (because that’s the only way you can be certain you actually exist). A man, in other words, who is an advertiser’s walking wet dream.”

Simpson, Mark. (July 22, 2002). Meet the metrosexual. Salon.

Metrosexuality; I know this is a little off topic for me these days, given I have been barely posting and when I do, is about music (mainly classical) and art. The truth is I have been posting about my main interests only –an easier way to post. School and finals has kept me very busy this month with little time to give a hovering idea a conclusion. My blog is -although in part about my interests- also about anything that tickles my fancy; things that are brought to my attention, like I said, a hovering idea; something I think about for a while and then reach to a conclusion. I have mentioned before what I call this, “the time spent thinking” Yep, with math finished, its time to reach to a conclusion.

The whole idea for this post was born from one of those intense arguments I tend to have at work with fellow co-workers, in which no party ever wins, but instead indulges into a never-ending debate that turns to be the highlight of the day. The homophobic wing (those against metrosexuality) was arguing that metrosexual men are gay, and the ME wing (that is only me) was disagreeing with such allegations. Why? Well, mainly, because if that were to be the case, then more than half of Puerto Rico, South Korea and Japan is populated with gay man; and Clooney, Pitt, Beckham, and even Clinton (all which have been given the particular label) should also be considered gay –not that I don’t see the possibilities in the four latter.

The term metrosexual has many claims of origins, but I will stick with Mark Simpson, whom is said to have originated the term in an article published in The Independent, in November of 1994. Here is a quote from the article Simpson wrote;

“Metrosexual man, the single young man with a high disposable income, living or working in the city (because that’s where all the best shops are), is perhaps the most promising consumer market of the decade. In the Eighties, he was only to be found inside fashion magazines such as GQ, in television advertisements for Levi’s jeans or in gay bars. In the Nineties, he’s everywhere and he’s going shopping.”

He is also author of the quote at the beginning of this post. From what I understand, Simpson believes metrosexual men are in need of an approval of their existence, a more narcissist and egotistic kind of man, one who is uncertain of who he is therefore needs others to feed his ego so that he can get a sense of being. There is a lot of truth in his words. Vanity is the root of it all. I will explain why, in parts- how I like to do it;

I went in search of the meaning of this “new term” and found many interesting things that are just too funny to pass. For example, I found out Leonardo Dicaprio is metrosexual (people just don’t know their limits). A person said a metrosexual is gay in every sense except in sexual orientation (really? I think they need to look up the meaning of the word gay before assuming they know the meaning of the word metrosexual) Someone else said –with much passion- the term metrosexual should be reinvented and the sexual part taken off, since it has nothing to do with sexuality (again, this person is in serious need of a dictionary). Last, a man who spends more time in the bathroom (hmm… I always thought men spend more time in the bathroom since they have to shave regularly. My boyfriend definitely does!) These are all very funny, but also very foolish conclusions.

The meaning of the term Metrosexual is very simple and clear; It comes from Metropolis and Heterosexual, thus metro-sexual, and it means a metropolitan man whose attributes are similar to those of a homosexual man. For example; they like to shop for the latest trend in fashion; they like to get manicure and pedicure; they like to shave not only facial hair but any other hairy spot in their bodies… etc. This being said, Leonardo Dicaprio does not necessarily fall under the metrosexual category, nor does Pitt or Cruise, despite what others may think. I think that, when it comes to a celebrity it would be somewhat confusing, since they have the need to look good (even when they don’t at times) and this relates to their profession and social status (somewhat), not their life style. They can be a total different person, and dress very different off cameras.

Leonardo off cameras, and of course he has to look clean cut in camera.

Brad Pitt does not look so metrosexual now does he?

Okay, so here he does. Is he posing for a picture? Hmmm… my point exactly.

Most men spend more time in the bathroom than women. Like I said, my boyfriend definitely does, and he is not metrosexual. One sign is, his hairy chest and incapability to wear fashionable clothes. But, never mind my boyfriend, the point is, not because they spend more time in the bathroom it means they are metrosexual.

Metrosexuality is just a new term for what it already existed in previous centuries. The Baroque, as an example, was a time in where men of the high society attended social gatherings wearing wigs and make-up, not to mention that men fashion was full of lace, bows, buckles, tights, and the much feared today man-heel. Were all of the men in high society back then homosexual? Maybe, I don’t know the answer to that one, but I do know they were highly promiscuous. As a result, they were rejected by the less sophisticated man, the commoner, the poor. And this is where the problem lies today; why is the term being rejected by the more common, next-door kind of men? Why are they labeling these metrosexual men as homosexual? (Although no one seems to question Beckham’s sexuality… at least not as openly).

The way I see it, metrosexuality is another sign of power and wealth. Men who are able to give themselves the King treatment -lavish grooming at the salon, and always wearing the latest trend- must certainly have a high income, otherwise are in a gigantic debt. These men are often self-centered and egocentric -as I mentioned above; in other words, simple-minded men. The male figure of the typical simple-minded woman who is only worried about her beauty and takes part in all sorts of surgeries to better herself (or at least she thinks so) It’s all very false, how they live for the physical appearance. I can imagine the Beckham’s practicing different poses; how to smile, walk, sit, turn their head, etc. It’s all the same with those high society men in the Baroque era, who wore jewelry and make-up. Being delicate, well dress, etc, was a sign of the aristocracy; men with money because their ancestors had money, and son on, again, a sign of power. They all seemed superficial and hypocrites, arrogant with the commoners, and poor. We tend to hate (hate is another way of fearing) what seems like a threat to us or what is our nature. Most likely I am wrong in my way of thinking (perhaps bias by the ideals society has implanted in my head) however, this is certainly something to think about. We are labeled by society into being something in specific, and when we depart from the idea of what we should be, then we turn into an outcast, a pariah of society.

I say, without going into the extremes (a man purse, man heels, make-up, and stylish wigs) metrosexuality is all right with me. Although I don’t particularly look for a metrosexual man (thus my extremely nonmetrosexual boyfriend) If done with moderation, its actually kind of cool.

Example of an extreme: in western society, Beckham; In Asian society, 99% of the South Korean actors, no offense intended, I love Korean dramas very much.

What is he wearing? Man-blouse? Jang Geun-suk is loved by many. I like him as an actor, I juts don’t see where his physical appeal is. Sorry girls!

Moderation, please, moderation is key to good taste. Lee Byung-hun is such a hottie. He can be labeled as anything, he still looks like a man to me.

Here I have two link which I find extremely funny and helpful for those interested in this new term;

The Asian Machosexual Vs The White Metrosexual.

Know if You’re Metrosexual: Men’s Style, Sock, and Hair Care.

The Dull, and Uninteresting Hours

Today I write not for me, but for my friend. To understand the meaning of friendship and what’s inside our hearts; to feel the love for one another, that is not stained by the recklessness passion brings, nor is it spoiled by time; To cherish not the best moment of its time, but the dull, the uninteresting hours; To hold, not only that which is precious, but all that is damaged, unfit of our characters and yet it gives us a moment of belonging.

I know I have already shared this music before, and I have shared more than one video and more than one musician performing it. But is that, without this music every morning, even every day I can not find that comfortable place that is so common to us. That place which makes you understand, clearly, the reason why…

This time is the incredible performance of John Williams. If a melody can make you cry every time you hear it, for me, that is the ultimate thing. This melody can only be described with one quote from the great poet and novelist Kahlil Gibran. At the same time, this song can only transmit what this quote says;

” But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.”

-Kahlil Gibran.

Bach Prelude BWV, Lute Suite No. 4. John Williams;


Inspired by the lovely events only a friend can bring into your live. Thank you my friend, for being so supportive of my dreams.


He looked young, probably in his mid twenties. His complexion was pale, perhaps even more so because of the contrast of his dark hair which was pulled back in a ponytail, very untidy. The oval shape of his face softened his masculine features; prominent cheekbones and a strong shin, this gave him some sort of elegance. Dark eyes, thick eyebrows, and full lips; no doubt, he was very handsome. The sort of face that could not be missed in a crowd.

Portrait done after So Ji-sub, a Korean actor.